Usted y vos (y tú)

When I took high school Spanish, I learned two forms of you. Usted, formal, and tú, informal. Those forms are ingrained in my mind. And this isn't just about the pronoun. Every verb conjugates differently based on this, and there are reflexive and object pronouns as well.  And in my generally informal style, I've just called everyone by tú. It has made things very simple. Especially because the word used for the reflexive and object pronouns are all the same with tú, so I don't even really have to pay attention to what kind of word it is. 

Well in Nicaragua they don't use tú. I've even been advised it can sound kind of snobby because people hear it on the Mexican soap operas. 

Instead they use vos. And I must admit the conjugation of vos is not difficult but old habits die hard. 

And to make things more confusing, there are cultural norms around when you use usted vs vos, and they change depending on where you are. Maybe you use vos only with children and animals. Or maybe with family and close friends. Or maybe with anyone younger than you (though how you determine that I don't know). 

So I do my best to use usted with everyone who isn't a child or animal. I figure it's best to err on the side of respect. But I think there are two problems with this. 

I have to think harder to conjugate verbs with usted and I'm lost sometimes on whether to use se, lo/la or le. So my sentences tend to include a jumble of versions of referring to you. I must be confusing to listen to. 

Second, I'm not sure usted is always the right choice. I'm concentrating so hard on understanding the gist of conversations I don't always perceive when people are using vos or usted with me. But sometimes I catch people using vos then switching to usted after they hear me use it. I wonder if I'm accidentally creating some interpersonal distance, constantly asserting that I'm not letting people close enough to use vos with them?

Regardless, I'm generally thankful that Nicaraguans tend to be a pretty tolerant lot. They laugh at my missteps rarely, at times when even I have to admit they are pretty darn funny. They do their best to help me understand what is going on most of the time, and sometimes correct my pronunciation or conjugation of the same word a dozen times before I finally get it. 

What do usted/vos/tú think?

Especialmente usted Evelyn.  Yo sé que usted está leyendo este blog. :-)